Chief Eric of Kea Waka
Early morning at Lake Okareka: cool, tranquil, quiet. We find a trail around the lake’s wetlands and eavesdrop on pakeku, tui, and black swans. Off in the distance, we hear a woman calling her cows home (no, really!). Feels like a Kiwi Sound of Music.
Breakfast with avocado and Vegemite on toast (the Marmite factory is still rebuilding after the Christchurch earthquake, so the locals have to make do with an Aussie import for the time being), and we head down to Wai-O-Tapu, “Geothermal Wonderland”.
By “wonder”, I think they mean “I wonder why it smells so naaaasty.” Glad we didn’t have eggs for breakfast, because these bubbling pits with names like “Devil’s Hole” and “Sulphur Cave” stink something awful. But they have pretty colors and steamy currents, so they make for good photo-ops.
Not content to see without touching, we head up the road to Kerosene Creek, a natural hot creek. The pictures don’t do it justice — think a nice, hot bath, in the middle of a stream bed. And not too smelly 🙂
Lunch in Rotorua and then we drive north to find the home of the original Zorb. What’s Zorb? Imagine being tossed inside a giant inflatable hamster ball with a bucket of warm water and tossed down a big hill. With sheep watching you. We ended up choosing OGO, a newer cousin of Zorb, with longer runs and cleaner rides. Turns out the guy who created Zorb sold it to some other folks and let them run it into the ground, while he went bigger and better with OGO. Wish we had video from inside the ball…this was SO MUCH FUN and hilarious. Eric’s abs hurt from laughing the whole way down.
At night, we board the bus to a Maori hangi, Kea Waka (‘waka’, in Maori, is used to describe any vehicle), where Gloriane volunteers Eric to be chief of our tribe. This means Eric gets to stand in front of a hundred other tourists while Maori warriors swing spears at his face. You know, “representing his tribe.”
Arriving at the Maori village Tamaki, we’re schooled on the ancient Maori ways, learn Te Wero (“The Challenge”) and poi dances, and grub on some earth-cooked Maori delicacies. On the way back to town, Chief Eric is called up to the front of the waka to entertain his tribe on the ride back to our home village. This task mainly entails coercing the tribe into singing songs from their home countries, i.e. The Beatles.
As the waka pulls into its home port, Chief Eric manages to come up with a parting joke to further delight his tribe. “What kind of boat does Fozzie the Bear use to travel across the Pacific Ocean? …A “waka waka”! Heeeeeey!” And with that, Chief Eric jumps out the open door before his tribe turns into an angry mob.
